Friday 19 October 2018

Workshop “Could do better”. Elizabeth Gillespie, 16 Oct 2018.


Elizabeth had selected two short stories that had recently been submitted to a writing magazine which had then published the Editor’s comments. 

The group were invited to make their own observations on the early parts of the story before hearing those of the professional.

The first story, which appeared to be set in wild Canada in the late eighteenth century, had committed 
almost every writing sin imaginable apart from spelling mistakes.

Punctuation had been neglected, excess characters introduced and the maximum permitted number of words for the submission, far exceeded.

Scenes were so loosely described that only by subsequent reading, were we able to establish what the author meant. Our members came away with different impressions of what had actually taken place and what had been the relationships of the various characters.

On the other hand there appeared to be the basis of a good story, albeit one which eventually could have become a family saga rather than a 800 word short story.


The second story was one of world war one in the trenches and the relationship of three ‘pals’.

Although appearing initially to have been well written and gritty, so much of the story told of nothing new in respect of life in the trenches and the author was over generous with horrific adjectives.

One paragraph was so long and covered so many different parts of the story that potential impact was lost. The reader felt that he or she had been given no time to absorb the impact of what had happened before being pushed into the next part of the story.

The theme of two comrades going into battle with a pet dog, would need a new twist to avoid being too predictable.

Elizabeth finally read the editors published comments on the two stories. She appeared to have been much kinder than the members of our group and had often concentrated on totally different aspects of the stories.


Next week:- The Annual Dinner, including readings and adjudication of the Children’s Fiction Competition.  
 

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